Siberian Nights

By: Dominic Kelley 

 

Lights brightly shining the bright lights shined dazing these eyes that I once claimed as mine but see my visions been so foggy lately things just don’t seem to align. Like this man who came to the door the other day saying that these bills belong to me – I’m sorry sir, you’ve got the wrong man – this altered space I occupy is permanently temporary because you see in reality I haven’t felt at home in years

The A.C.? Oh yeah – that was me.

But see, sir, you gotta understand my aches require ice cold therapy to contrast these third degree burns until they have recovered their missing heart. 

That’s why I leave the windows open. To see if I can stop truth’s breeze with these phony sleeves – but I make my roommates cold. 

So sometimes I take walks, but I always get lost and maybe that’s because I was never found. It’s a vast world of darkness yet I’ve wandered so long that, that I can’t even guarantee. 

But none of that mattered, because all that matters is me and you - you and me – and it seemed so easy.

But I guess what hurt the most was knowing that no matter how much warmth I gave you, somewhere along this journey I lost you through life’s maze.  

And the next time I saw you in my dreams I thought about screaming out to see if you could hear the sunken vibrations in my voice so that you might understand just how bad it wrecked me to see your face one more time. But when I tried to speak I discovered that pride had already beat me to the voice box, locked it, and threw away the key.

Is this all just a dream?

Or have I done something wrong?

Because on days like this it feels like these golden arrows piercing my heart – stopping the flow that keeps me lively – were personally hand delivered all the way from the heavens to this mortal earth – 3 months early – by Cupid himself – just to punish me. 

But it’s alright.

Because I’ll keep you with me, forever, stored away right between the first time my lips touched yours and the night you told me you felt safe in my arms, together, in a protected space exclusively for my most cherished memories.  

Because as long as I leave this A.C. running and these windows open, Mother Nature’s chilled breath will dry these tears from this paper

And I’ll be okay.